I once got a message on Twitter from one of my followers. I had rarely interacted with her as most of her tweets were in Spanish, as a result the message was also in Spanish. The message however peaked my interest and I decided to look up the translation. In fact, I also looked up translations for her other tweets and found them to be quite savvy. All this time I had this brilliant person in my network, but my connection to her was hampered by the language barrier. I could choose to continue being estranged from her or I could choose to be intentional and find a way to connect and interact with her; wisely I choose the latter. In fact, I may get to learn some Spanish along the way. In many instances, we all have that person, be it a loved one, client or colleague we struggle connecting with or if a connection occurs it's at a labored pace. My question to you is, what language are you using to communicate? As effective communication often leads to a good connection. By language I'm not alluding to dialect, rather the means by which you are choosing to share your message across to others. Effective communication is dependant on your listening and speaking skills. At times we just need to speak less and listen more. Not just hearing (whereby we perceive sound) but intentionally choosing to engage with the message we are receiving with an aim of achieving an understanding with the other person. Many of us have this part all figured out, it's the speaking part that is our Achilles heel. How you package your message and relay it to others is crucial and we need to be intentional about this.
Here are some of the Languages we use that hamper effective communication;
1. Language of Ambiguity
This language is characterized by use of vague descriptions that don't communicate what you really expect of the other person. For example; your working with others on a group project and you tell your group members that you want to see teamwork in your group and leave it at that point. What is "teamwork" does it mean they form smaller groups and work within these groups? Does it mean that you are encouraging corporate decision making and conformity to the group at the expense of entrepreneurship in the group? Break it down as to what teamwork is to you and how you expect it to play out in the group. This is clear and helps you avoid the confusing language of Ambiguity.
2. Language of Verbosity
This language is characterized by giving the other person an overload of information, majority of which is not relevant or advantageous to them or the task at hand, this can be quite irritating especially in a formal setup like a business or an office. To avoid this, be clear, precise and on point as to what you expect, don't dance around what you want to communicate to the other person.
Practise these two points and they will aid you to improve your communication skills and eventually lead to a connection. So as I close I ask again, what language are you speaking?
